Reflection

It's been awhile since I last posted.  It's weird that I have so many things to say but when I try to put them down in writing, everything's will go blank.  So what's been happening with me?  After all, 2012 is about to end, so I guess this is a good time to look back and reflect.  So I've changed job.  I'm no longer a hotelier and now in the corporate world.  Funny that this is what I've always wanted to do but now that I'm in it, I'm not exactly pleased.  Call me fickle, but yeah, this is how I feel.  I almost got married but in the end it didn't work out.  I was devastated, of course but after a year I'm actually doing alright.  It's true what people say, time heals all wounds.  Been really sick a few times this year and oh boy, there were times I felt like I almost died.  Back still hurts, but what the heck, I've been living with the pain almost all my life.  Friendship - I'm happy to say that although my circle of friends have gone drastically smaller, the close friends I have are great.  I'm blessed to have wonderful friends.  Mom has been in & out of hospital and it breaks my heart to see her aging right in front of me.  Deep inside I can't imagine not having her in my life.  I only wish I make her comfortable & happy.  Brother's now a proud father of 3!  And I love those kids to bits!  Zalia looks like me (that means she's damn cute!), Zikry is really handsome, apparently he looks like my dad when dad was a little kid.  And Adam is so cute it's unbelievable.  So I would say I am 80% happy.  Which is really an achievement.  Where's the other 20%?  I guess it's the usual shit : I wish I have more money (so I could bring my mom on annual holidays abroad, but at the moment, it's impossible) and I wish I have my own little unit of family - husband & kids.  But at the moment, I am thankful that this is as good as it gets. Syukur Alhamdulillah